Image description: A white person, who seems to have strawberry blonde hair and their eyes closed, lays their face on the hand of someone who’s brown skinned. Rainbow reflects on the person’s eyes.
Valentine’s Day is approaching us, my friends. So, in the spirit of love, I thought I’d share what I learned from my experience with online dating as a disabled person. I’ve had good experiences and bad ones as well. Nevertheless, each experience taught me more about myself and what I want from a romantic relationship. Here are a few dos and don’ts that may help you navigate the dating world.
Do: Choose the app that works for you.
If you don’t know where to start in your online dating journey, you’re in luck. There are tons of apps to choose from. I know it may seem overwhelming with all of these options. However, I implore you to choose the best app for you. Dating apps are not one size fits all. This process is full of trials and errors, so don’t expect to know everything on the first go-round. Two popular sites that I’ve used are called Hinge and Bumble. They both create a well-rounded and safe environment for users. Furthermore, you can curate your experience by making preferences that fit your liking; you’ll interact with individuals who share similar hobbies and ideals. This way, you can avoid getting matched with someone you aren’t compatible with.
Don’t: Be afraid to say what it is that you want.
Dating is already difficult in this day and age. And having a disability doesn’t make it any less intimidating. However, you are just as deserving of genuine connections as everyone else. If you desire a long-term relationship, be firm about it. You don’t need to settle for anything just because of your disability. Therefore, if someone isn’t meeting your standards, leave and go on to the next.
Do: Share what you’re comfortable with.
You must be careful about what you share with people while online dating. Much like any other social media platform, dating apps are full of both good and bad people. Unfortunately, not everyone you meet has the best intentions. I advise you to only share information that you are comfortable with. This includes your disability. People are not entitled to ask you any questions, appropriate or not.
Furthermore, some may use this information as leverage to take advantage of you in the future. Set boundaries with people. Let them know what’s okay and what isn’t. Practicing good internet safety is imperative more than ever.
Don’t: Let heartbreak stop you from finding love.
Heartbreaks suck, and getting over them is easier said than done. However, don’t let them deter you from pursuing a romantic relationship. I know we as people with disabilities get more rejected than most due to ableist ideals, and you probably feel like giving up. But, don’t. As cliche as it sounds, there is someone out there for everyone. And you, love bugs, are no exception. Your special someone will find you in due time. Meanwhile, embrace the love that’s present around you and spread it to others!
